Sardar Joke

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."


Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy". Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"


A sardar wanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend tohelp him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meterreading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospectivecustomer that it has been used sparingly. The sardar liked the idea. A fewweeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able todispose off his car. The sardar replied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car whichhas done only 30000 kms!


A Sardarjee reported for his University final examination which consists of"yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares atthe question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takeshis wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking theanswer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is alldone whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last fewminutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. Themoderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished theexam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers


Santa Singh needed some money desperately. Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. So Santa goes to a Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple had a large Lord Shiva statue. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.

Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kirpa karo."

he priest saw Santa praying. He wante to help Santa, but knew that a Sikh will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the statue, so that Santa can not see him.

After Santa had said his prayers, and opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day for money. Now the priest is really annoyed with Santa. The Priest decides that he is not going to give any more money to Santa. He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money.

Santa: "O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta, Papa kitthe hai?!?!!


Santa Singh and Banta Singh both bought one horse each.

They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Santa Singh asked "how will we know which is your and which is mine?"

Banta Singh said "its easy I will cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail."

Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.

So the next morning confusion arose even more. Santa Singh said."don worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell." The boys heard this too so they cut the bell. The next day, Santa Singh got frustrated and said "OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that: WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him" Arre Puttar, ki hoya?" (What Happened, My Son?)

The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)



Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'



We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.(He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).

Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity herewith us.

Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatteaaj. Tusi start karo ji.

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are:A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab

Santa : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question
AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your timeSanta (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like touse my lifeline.

AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.Santa: Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your timestarts now.

After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
25%
25%
25%
25%
AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share yourdisgust here.

Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audiencene.
I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.

AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.

Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aajisko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record ofusing all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.

Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.AB: OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus keKaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein....#_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.

AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur.................
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko specialcase karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dudwala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameezpehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.AB: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him thequestion).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iskaanswer
mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answerPunjab hai lallu.
Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakkaconfidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yehto batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience diedlaughing...